April 6, 2010 stream-of-consciousness

here i am again embarking on another of these writey things where i write without stopping until either i fill this page of my ginfgers cramp so badly i cant keep going tonight i went out with the biomed group no thats not it what is it the llc the living learning community what is it human alteration thats it we went to where we went to johns we went to jimmys where is it where was it it was somehwere it was a deli i go ts soup with broccoli and cheese there were free cornbreah muffins and free gingerbread muffisn and free ice cream my typing is getting worse all of a sudeen then we went to see repo men oh yeah they had these crackers they were cheddar and punmpkin whole grain crackers they had green pumpkin seeds in them they were very good i stole four i kept them in my pocket and tried to give one to [Catherine] who i like but she saw that they had schaedder which okay that was awful cheddar cheddar cheddar which i saw before too but forgot and of coure since shes a vegan she cant have cheddar because it is cheese and cheese is from milk and milk is from cows and laws no we cant be enslaving teh coews that one was intentional not the cows it should have been coews the taht that was no the teh thats it i wouldnt do that accidentally unless i did i suppose i might anyways i wanted to be nice and kit on her not hit on her no no im doing it all wrong this is so stupid that i cant go back and fix them i was trying to hit on her to hit on her because i think she is pretty nice but it failed but nonethless she asked oh did you save them just for me which seemed encouraging to me it seemed good that she would think that she seemed to apreciate it the other day [Marie] was telling me how is huosld okay fuck shit i hate this she was telling me how i should hit on her and i pictured it taking place in an elevator and then just the next morning we were in an elevator together but hs ewas in a fokaksidi i hate this i really do the next morning she and i were in the elevator together but she was in a very bad mood and did not seem to know i was there she did not say hello to me when i said hello to her so i gave up she has a muffin top anyways so boo to you there [Catherine] you are not a pretty person i do not need you i will find someone better and prettier and less like a lesbian like [Parker] except [Blondie] has [Parker] and [Marie] wont date me and who was it [James] he geot got togo gog ooo he got to [Adair] first that makes me mad sometimes i want her and sometimes ic an cnnnn i can let it go sometimes and just let them be together i am no t sure i an am am am i am not sure i am doing this right i thinki may may may i think i may be doing this wrong i think maybe it is okay to slow down just  alittle and fix my typings but maybe that is not the point maybe i am goind no totototo maybe i am doing it right maybe this is right i am not sure but i do know that my arms are statarting i do know that my arms are starting to get tired i am starting to repeat myself there is no poitn in this if i am communicating nothing but at the same time i am typing faster an d faster and i feel a sort of a hypnosis slipping over me where i care elss about wha ti ama typing and only that i keep typing i guess this is when the psychobalbllbe shit is supposed ot happen and i let out al  my repressed memories of being molested and that shit how do you believe that shit [Marie] frued was such a hack i mean he haelped the people he helped the people by trweating them like people and he treated psychology like a science that was great but he only ever studied fucked uip people so he got fucked up theories so his claims they are not valid they have been disporven mayn thimes they were primitive they cannot be used for treatment hey are no good the crackers though they were so goo doso about repo men it sucked it was afwul fthe the i the thehhhh the ending was good though it was okay he got hit on the head nad hen for the last aprt of the movie it was all crazy action and i thought it was just the climax and the deveopers had unabashedly cast aside what little reamained th of the of the realism of the film but it turned out he was hallucinating and stuff so it was okayer i felt like they were saying the fact that you dolts bought this as the real ending is demonstrative of hwo fucking shitte dmessed up the films are today they are pulp absolute pulp fuck you you know what fuck you i hate this fuckign thing i dont know why im still going going ogin i can think of nothing more to say it is just becoming repetetive there are no teat truths there are no revelatiois i do not recall being molested there are no secret phantom words there is only shit i know already and the grammar is fucking awful and i curse more because i cant think of bette r words to say and ai t rthe am i done yet i am close to done one more line i think will do it fuck you fuck all of you and gfuck this tshtittyy this shitty psychoballble shit